I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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