Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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