Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
