It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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