he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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