Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize