Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
