yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
