Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize