is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He did a backflip because drugs
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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