During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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