Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
