How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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