just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
