After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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