Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
