the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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