i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.