I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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