We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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