We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Go fuck yourself