Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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