I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
