I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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