are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize