Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
