Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
