I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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