Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize