is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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