apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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