meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
