I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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