i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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