Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
sex in a hospital.. check
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
