he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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