CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
