Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
