There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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