There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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