Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
