she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize