Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
