you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
