bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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