please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
