Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
