I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
