Welp...herpes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
