she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
