Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
