cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
