Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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