dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
