Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize