Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
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what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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