Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pants are for mortals
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
