it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize