Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
