im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
