As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
